What does she have? What is hers...

Hers is the tears she cries at night

Hers is the shining bright light

Hers is a future that isn’t bright

Hers is a life of feel not sight

Hers is a place so damp and cold

Hers is a life where she has to be bold

Hers is a place she runs from a scold

Hers is a mind where her dreams unfold

Hers is a place where she runs and hides

Where in the end her mama dies

Hers is a world she doesn’t understand

Where she tries to get up, but too weak to stand

Hers is a life where needs seem simple

Asking for shoes and food and love too ample?

Hers is a life where she fights for survival

On the streets where her friends and her are tribal

Hers is a life where her choices are instinctual

Hers are the streets so dark she walks alone

Hers is the reality where she knows no revival

Hers is a life by turned cheeks a nation condones

Hers is still a little girl, through her eyes this is shown

Hers is a mind where she wants to capture a dream already flown

But, she is a fighter

She will find her way

She will see through to the light of day

She is not forgotten

Her voice will be heard

Through the eyes in this picture

An AWARENESS is stirred...

To Share, or Not to Share...

Yesterday was Halloween and I took my little two year old Trick-or-Treating. He was the cutest little triceratops I had ever seen; green face included. We only went down one street and back and at the end he was so pleased with his small little bucket of candy. When we returned to my friends house for a party, some guy walked up to my little guys candy and started rummaging through it. I saw him and politely said, “Hey that is my little guy’s candy.” A little embarrassed he said he just wanted a piece innocently. I told him that it was my little boy’s to share not mine. He was appalled that I would not just let him pick out all he pleased. He said, “I take all my kids candy!”

I quickly found Josiah, and asked him if he wanted to share his candy. With a big smile he said, “Yes.” We walked together, with his bucket of candy, over to this guy Josiah had never seen, and he gleefully let the man pick one.

I have a few problems with this whole interaction. First, who walks up to someone else’s bag of candy and just starts helping themselves? If it was his kids, or even someone he knew at all, ok. But, we didn’t even know this guy. Second, my son is 2. He got the smallest bag of any kid there (he was also the littlest of any kid there) and worked hard to walk an entire street, down and back, in this neighborhood. I think this warranted it being his decision to then turn around and let some stranger dig through it.

So, am I just some kind of protective mom who watched her little dinosaur delighted with the 10 candies he got and didn't want it stolen? Or, am I being picky by not just sharing, because Josiah would have never known anyway?

Either way, this dude was just rude.

A Whole World Changed

One morning, a little over two and a half years ago, my entire life was changed in a matter of minutes. This change came from within. I finally knew what it felt like to be empowered. It caught me off-guard. Though at that exact moment I did not know the fullness of how much my life was changed, nor do I admit to fully knowing it now, I am seeing myself grow on a daily basis. I am confident. I am a woman. I am a mother. He may not be well-known, or what you would consider a highly influential person by some standards, but for me, meeting him was life-altering. Merely being in his presence, I am changed. He makes me laugh and smile like no one else. He is beautiful. He is my son.
Before, I did not know I was strong. I am. Before, I did not know true patience. I am learning. Before, I was unseasoned. I have just a little now. Having my son was indescribable. As I search to reveal in words what he has done for me, my life has been the greatest evidence. I used to drive about in a little sports car, throwing McDonalds wrappers in the backseat, smoking a cigarette. Now I am focused and driven. I am organized. I even eat healthier. Every breath I take feels more fresh and invigorating. How can a person only two do that? The whole world no longer revolves around me. I think of someone else first. I look at my baby in the mirror instead of myself.
My son’s name is Josiah. I want everything for him. I want a better life for both of us. I want to live as an example. In my ambition to live this out, I have set myself to a higher standard. I want him to value education. I want to teach him that he can be anything he wants if he puts his mind to it. I can only do this by believing it for my own life as well. Through this experience I have learned so much. I have learned the value of hard work and independence. Yet I also know that it’s okay to get help when I need it. I have learned more about my own mother’s love for me. I have learned the importance of family and how much I rely on their support. I have learned selflessness, commitment, and unconditional love. When he gets excited over looking at a field of flowers, I am reminded to experience delight from the little things in life. I believe all women have an instinct to nurture; he has given me the gift of feeling needed. In his need for me, I found my need for him. I have learned contentment. I have finally learned to appreciate my body. Wow…how about that one! The list could go on. I feel alive and excited that I have been given the gift of being a part of this person’s road to independence. I want to learn more about him as he grows to become an individual. It’s so strange, you know. I don’t even remember what it was like before him, now. This one little life has already changed an entire world…mine.

My Eulogy From the Eyes of My Son

The Eulogy of Melanie Remington

I always heard my mom say as we would get ready to go anywhere, "We are off like a thundering herd of turtles!" It was a saying she got from her mother. I remember as a child it would take more time to pile all of us kids in the car than it did to drive to our destination many times. She was born June 17th 1981. And considering how long she lived, off to heaven like a little turtle she went.

In her life she became a runner and she would say, "whenever you reach a climb, give it everything." At times I came to her and asked her how I would make it through points in my life and she would say, "Don't worry. When you reach the climb, just give it all you got." She said that moving from glory to glory was not easy; it was like climbing one mountain after the other. It's not about when you get there, but how. This was the way she lead her life.

I know she was a single mom when she had me, and she would tell me not for one minute did she regret it. I watch home videos of when it was just her and I, and I can see the love all over her face. She said she wanted me from the very beginning and I was never a mistake but destined to be exactly who I was. She said to me my whole life I was her "Dream come true." She went on to get married to my dad and had a litter of brothers and sisters for me to play with. These people have become my life long friends and share with me in the love I have for our mother. My name is Josiah Asher Remington; I was my mama's first born.

Before I go on, I want to back up. I know my mom left an impression in this world long before even I can remember. I want to tell you stories that her father, my Papa, once told me. First, he would tell me how much she loved me, which was comforting in my early days when my mom only told me twice in a day instead of fifty. But even when my mama was away for awhile, Papa said that I was God's precious remembrance of her to everyone else. He said I have my mama's strong spirit and the very same twinkle in my eye when I laughed deep from the gut. I always liked my mama's laugh, especially her smile when she did, so I took that as high praise. I guess that's what people mean when they say that someone is "survived by" their children. I'd like to think, even as she waits for me in the next glorious life, that parts of her are still surviving here on earth through me, and through my brothers and sisters.

My Papa also giggled about how shocked he was when she was born. He told me he already had two boys, my uncles, and was expecting another. But, when he heard it was a girl, he was so surprised. He said my mom was always full of surprises, as I learned for myself growing up. He said she was a surprise from the very beginning even right down to when he and my grandma found out they were having another baby. My grandparents thought about names for this new baby girl and narrowed it down to Melissa and Melanie. I can still hear my Papa say, "We decided on Melanie Kristine and the good times started."

My grandma tells of how full of life she was too, another thing that I learned quickly for myself and like to think I got from her. My Grammy would tell of how she would dance and dance around and around the house as a little girl in her pink tu-tu. But I hear stories of how in this very same pink tu-tu she skinned her knees climbing trees and beating up neighborhood boys. Speaking of the pink tu-tu, she also loved pink! Grammy told me how she wanted pink carpet in her room in the house she grew up in. And they let her have it. Her love of pink clearly never went away. It went straight from her childhood into mine. This love of pink was something I did not always appreciate, especially when it showed up in house decorations while I was in high school. My friends would sometimes tease me a little about it. But, there was a comfort in those pink curtains in the kitchen and towels in the bathroom. It's hard to admit, standing here as a grown man, I missed it a little when I moved away for college. Or, maybe it wasn't only the pink curtains I missed, but her hugs and kisses too.

Well, anyhow, her warmth in decorations I feel showed the instinctual maternal side she had. I hear this started long before I was born. It seemed to have cropped up about the time her youngest brother was born. My uncle Tim tells of how she was his second mother, and this included bossing and correcting him. With this he also knew no one would ever mess with him, because they would have to deal with his big sis; although, she was not the big sis for long. By the time all three of my uncles hit 6'2" she was the "Squirt" of the family as Papa would call her. And all her sons, myself included, never let the tradition die, except we called her "Shrimp" instead of squirt. Although, the real shrimp was GiGi, my great grandmother; she was 5' with her hair 4 inches high, and this was on a good day. GiGi would tell me how the entire time my mom was pregnant with me they would play cards everyday. When I asked her one time what she thought of my mom she said short and simply, "She loves people, she loves nature, she loves life, and she happy." She was happy.

It's hard to think now that she is not here. Letting go is really hard, especially when you expected someone would live forever as she always said she would. I sat in her house the other day, in her favorite chair and I could still smell her. It was the same scent I remember when I held onto her legs when I got scarred as a little boy. It was the same scent I remember when she rocked me to sleep in the rocking chair or when she forced hugs on me as I tried to run away as teenager. The same scent when we dance together on my wedding day. I just closed my eyes and pretended she was there. And as I opened them, it was though it had faded in a fleeting moment. I wonder if it lingered as long as it did as a merciful gift to help me let go.

You know, my mom became a lawyer and studied languages, she never stopped learning. She had so many passions. But the lasting imprint she left was not with her academic achievements, it was in her convictions. She lived according to the way she believed. She knew when to fight and when to throw in the towel. She knew when I needed my backside warmed, and when playing with my cars in the dog's water really wasn't that big of a deal. Life will not be the same. I will miss her everyday. But, I trust God knows His timing.

We are all here today, each touched by this woman's life in a unique way. Anyone who knew my mom knew that she had the extraordinary ability to crack herself up. So, instead of tears, I know she would want to see all our smiles as we remember her, and to even laugh, as she did so much. Everyone that she touched I know will miss her, especially my dad who loved her strong and hard. He says they were born for each other. And us kids whom she dedicated her life to. Make no mistake, I was not the last one my mother loved, nor did she love me the most of my siblings. But I was the first one she loved.

I remember my mom through these stories and I realize my mom is not gone. She is here in this place, alive in our stories and memories. And I know we will see her again in the next life to come. But, until then I hope my mom enjoys her new wings. She earned them. And though this loss is hard on all of us and things sometimes feel a little crazy, it was in times like this my lead-footed mama would only have one thing to say, "Take a breath and hold on."

Throwing books...

I just started working for a criminal defense lawyer in Boulder, CO. The first day, after sorting mail, I got to go to court. Though it was not as exciting as I anticipated, I got to make several connections through the people whom I was introduced. For some reason I was dreaming of murder cases and catching the prosecutor in a lie or planting evidence. Instead we were defending potheads and drunk drivers. I did, however, get to fill out a summons for a police officer, and, if I could have found his address on Google, I would have had the chance to serve him myself! Now that is a little closer to my idea of a good time. Of course I am sure police get served all the time. Oh well! Can't wait to see what other exciting things might come up.

So now that I have found my blog again...

I thought I would use this space to share the latest paper I wrote for Dimensions of Justice:

Examining Supreme Court Decisions
-THE FIRST AMENDMENT-
Possibly no other Amendment is more well known and publicly valued than the First. Freedom of speech has been theorized to be one of the most powerful Amendments and without it no other rights could exist. Because of the reverence for freedom of speech (also known as freedom of expression-including other rights listed in the First Amendment), many theories have developed as to why speech has been established as such a basic and fundamental right. Other than breaking away from traditions of English society, there is little knowledge as to the framer's intentions while designing the rights in the First Amendment (Chemerinsky 924). This leaves the courts to interpret the law and make hard decisions on hard cases in attempts to make resolution of competing rights and interests.
United States v. Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. (Chemerinsky 935) involved Section 505 of the Telecommunications Act of 1996 which required cable television operators providing channels "primarily dedicated to sexually-oriented programming" either to "fully scramble or otherwise fully block" those channels or to limit their transmission to hours when children are unlikely to be viewing, set by administrative regulation as between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m (2). Before this law was passed operators already had in place a method of scrambling these channels to limit their access. Through this scrambling method portions of the programming could sometimes still be heard or seen. This was called "signal bleed." To protect children from exposure to images or sound that might come through due to signal bleed, Section 505 was established.
Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. filed a suit claiming that Section 505 was unconstitutional in that it was a content-based restriction which interfered with their right to freedom of speech. They claimed that there was a less restrictive alternative for the government to further its interest which lied in Section 504 of the same Telecommunications Act. Section 504 gave paying customers the option to fully scramble or block any channel completely that they did not wish to receive at no charge (2).
The Court held that Section 504 was just as effective as Section 505 for viewers who did not want the programming in question. The freedom of speech at hand was examined under strict scrutiny because it was content-based. It was the burden of the government to prove that the regulation was the only effective way to achieve its goal in protecting families with children from the exposure to sexually explicit material. Because Section 504 was an effective alternative, the government failed to prove Section 505 was necessary to reach its goal.
Another similar case concerning freedom of speech involving child protection from expression of a sexual nature is that of Ashcroft v. American Civil Liberties Union (Chemerinsky 935). Like United States v. Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc., which preceded this case, it parallels in its fight to resist a content-based governmental restriction of speech.
Ashcroft v. American Civil Liberties Union confronted Congress' enactment of the Child Online Protection Act (COPA) of 1998, which states any person who knowingly posts, for "commercial purposes," on the World Wide Web material that is "harmful to minors," without providing the affirmative defense of commercial Web speakers who bar entrance to proscribed Web pages by "requiring use of a credit card" or "any other reasonable measures that are feasible under available technology," will be imposed a $50,000 fine and six months in prison (2).
The court held that computer filtering systems were a less restrictive way for families to protect their children from viewing offensive material. In fact, the Court assessed that it was a better alternative because it not only restricted materials from U.S. based companies, but also those overseas; further more, COPA's continued enactment would simply cause U.S. based companies to move overseas and continue business in the same manner (2).
Interestingly, both case decisions were made according to a "least restrictive" way for enterprises to attain free speech and the parent's rights to access freely other's expressions of free speech. Traditionally, the courts have taken extreme measures to protect children. However, the children were not the only focus. In the latter case mentioned, Ashcroft v. American Civil Liberties Union, parents had the right to turn internet filtration systems on or off, depending on their own personal desire to acquire sexual material via the internet without the constant worry of their children's access. Conversely, United States v. Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. did not take into consideration the parental viewing preferences. Parents with children would have to sacrifice their own viewing of programming dedicated to sexual material by using the methods expressed in Section 504. There was no court consideration of the interests of parents who might benefit from Section 505, which still allowed them access in the night hours to programming for which they already pay.
Clearly there are many different parties who hold competing interests. And embedded within both these cases is exactly that: a multifaceted list of competing issues. First, we have the interest of the government to protect its citizens on a whole-in this case, specifically children-from the deteriorations of the "moral fabric of society." Second, one must take notice of the enormity and implications that may rise from sacrificing a fundamental right-specifically freedom of sexual expression-at the hand of a governmental goal. It also must not go without mentioning that commonly freedom of speech of a sexual nature has been historically less protected. Let us, though, take note of the word "historically."
In the case of Roth v. United States (1), decided in 1957, Justice Brennan clarifies protected speech with regards to obscenity: "...sex and obscenity are not synonymous. Obscene material is material which deals with sex in a manner appealing to the prurient interest" (Chemerinsky 1017). The Court defined prurient as "material having a tendency to excite lustful thoughts" (Chemerinsky 1017). Few would argue that either the case of United States v. Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. or Ashcroft v. American Civil Liberties Union was not brought before the court somewhat on the behalf of catering to audiences with "prurient interests." Roth reaffirmed what the Supreme Court had previously held for years: "obscenity is a category of speech that is unprotected by the First Amendment" (Chemerinsky 1016). Although the debate continues as to what is deemed obscene, both United States v. Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. and Ashcroft v. American Civil Liberties Union redefined how the First Amendment's protection of freedom of speech applies to "obscene" material.
Ultimately, these hard cases entailed restriction of speech on the basis of content, which both Section 505 of the Telecommunications Act and COPA did, and this necessitates application of strict scrutiny. Both laws sought to limit access to sexual material (content-based) to minors by creating policies that specifically targeted sexual expression. Had these laws been content-neutral, only intermediate scrutiny would have been applied. The language entrenched in both Acts quickly ruled out any dispute that these cases were not content-based.
We must then refocus on the core issue in both cases. It was not that the material was of a sexual nature; simply that the Acts restricting the material were content-based. The policies, indeed, restricted speech because it was sexual, but regardless of the sexual content, the importance laid on the principle of a fundamental right being restricted-whatever nature it might be.
All of the cases mentioned retaliated against laws which they feel inflicted on the fundamental rights they possessed mapped out in the First Amendment. They fought against society's norms and values which they felt conflicted with their rights. When rights compete, society must also decide which rights they are willing to sacrifice in order to protect others. In these cases, freedom of speech was at the foremost of importance. Eventually balance must be found to create some sort of a solution. Though there may never be completely satisfactory decisions to all parties involved in these cases, society will continue to shape what it values through them.

Academic Resources
Chemerinsky, Erwin. Constitutional Law: Principles and Policies. 3rd. Aspen Publishers, New York, NY. (2006)
(1) http://www.oyez.org/
(2) http://www.law.cornell.edu/

Hey Hey Hey

What up! I think I just lost my blog!